Layers of Resilience

Layers of Resilience:

A Journey Through Career Challenges”

In my nearly two-decade career journey within the construction industry, I’ve spanned various roles across different private organizations. Beginning as an intern architect, a position I initially resented, I eventually ascended to the role of Regional Business Development Manager for the MENA region, the journey has been both enriching and challenging.

Moving permanently afforded me the opportunity for reflection, allowing me to ponder the sacrifices made and the achievements earned along the way. Reflecting on this period, I’ve come to understand the true costs of my career progression and its impacts on both personal and social realms, including the interpersonal dynamics it entailed.

Relocating also provided the chance to observe my journey from a distance. Through this lens, I’ve started to uncover the layers of accumulated experiences that have shaped my personality and reactions. What initially appeared as isolated incidents of antagonism, fear, and anger have now revealed themselves as deeper influences on my identity.

This realization began to surface when I found myself hesitating to pursue new job opportunities post-relocation. Even when I did, my enthusiasm and motivation seemed diminished. It was during a conversation with my former boss, who recognizes my professional achievements and passion, that I was provoked to delve deeper into the underlying reasons for my hesitancy. His remark, ‘I don’t know what happened to you with your last employers, but it seems you have been traumatized!’ sparked a journey of self-exploration, revealing the hidden toll of past experiences on my psyche.

As I reflect on my journey, I begin to peel back the layers of experiences accumulated since my graduation from Architecture school. Initially, I was driven by immense ambition, fueled by a desire to carve out an independent life for myself. Over time, this drive turned into an identity shaped by navigating through several conservative regimes.

Entering a male-dominated environment, I carried with me a belief that I needed to constantly prove my worthiness for opportunities. This unspoken approach allowed the exploitation of my ambition by those around me.

During this period of reflection, I came to a significant realization about the manipulative traps I encountered throughout my career. I recalled instances of harassment, discrimination, and manipulation, and how I normalized these behaviors without fully understanding their implications. Those acts took various forms, from inappropriate behavior from seniors and clients blurring professional boundaries, to facing challenges from ego-driven males who struggled to accept female leadership or asserted their superiority based on gender stereotypes. Moreover, the management at various phases saw fit to exploit my hunger to climb the ladder, leveraging my ambition to fulfill their own agendas. This exploitation subjected me to severe emotional and mental stress, damaging my well-being in ways I had not fully realized at the time. However, despite these challenges, I continued to push myself, often putting in double the effort of my male colleagues, driven by a relentless determination to accomplish.

Unknowingly, I imposed harsh standards on myself to navigate through challenges, leading to a defensive stance and a need to maintain control. The understanding that any lapse in control would lead to negative consequences became deeply ingrained, permeating not only my professional life but also my personal interactions, creating a pervasive sense of unease and hindering my ability to embrace vulnerability.

Reflecting on these experiences, I take responsibility for the struggles I faced while empathizing with my past self. Nevertheless, I also acknowledge my courage in maintaining my values and my strength to succeed despite the stressful challenges encountered.

I now recognize the value of establishing personal and professional boundaries. This journey of self-discovery highlights the importance of upholding personal integrity and well-being amidst professional demands.

Through reflection and self-awareness, I’ve begun to challenge these patterns. I strive to create space for myself to make mistakes and grow without fear of judgment, handling difficult situations with grace and resilience. While it remains an ongoing journey of self-discovery and healing, it has empowered me to reclaim agency over my life and relationships.

This realization prompts me to share my journey in the hopes of fostering awareness and resilience among others navigating similar paths.